New Year's Resolution, take 2...

I am a self sabateour in the worst way. It's like I rebel against my own self. I have always had a problem with authority, but this is insane.

Last Monday, I decided that I would pack a healthy lunch everyday to save money and get on track with this diet... Looking back, I spent more than I "normally" would of, went out to dinner 3 nights, out for lunch everyday and ate crap! I don't know what this rebellion I have against my self is, but I've got to get to the bottom of it.

Back to work tomorrow, booo. But yet another begining, another opportunity to create my bliss and live up to my potential.

P.S. My boss at work "de-friended" me on facebook, wtf? The only reason I know this though, is b/c I was going to "de-friend" her. As I type, I realize how ridiculous and immature this all sounds, but I just don't think it's very professional to be "friends" w/ a boss on there, plus, we are not friends anyway, plus, I think facebook is a huge waste of my time and really couldn't care less how those people are spending every minute of their lives, yet, I am addicted. Damnit, yet another addiction! ;)

In My Head...

I've discovered that turning on the News first thing in the morning is a terrible way to start the day. I don't give a shit about most of this crap, and will choose to read the paper instead (The Star is not yet bankrupt).

Anyhoo, not "passing out" at night has me all in my head, which is sometimes a scary place to be. Last night I rode with it, and it wasn't that scary after all. In fact, I had a vision of a beautiful painting, I don't paint, but think I will buy some canvas and brushes this weekend and give it a whirl.

Back to work after a long break yesterday was calming... shockingly calming.

The drive home was a battle, between me and the car. It kept wanting to pull into the bar, I won, thank God. You see, I live in an old Catholic neighborhood, with literally 6, yes SIX, bars within WALKING DISTANCE! That has always been the downside of my quaint little hood. So easy to just go to the bar, for any reason... boredom, celebration, sadness, anger... But, last night, I won, I did not drink! Hooray!

Today, my intentions are the same...

I am peaceful this cold Dec. mornin'. I feel as though I'm Finally beginning to settle into myself again.

Here Goes!

Have a Beautiful Day!

Good Morning Monday

Well, I've slept longer than I would have liked, but this coffee is starting to kick in, thank God. After 4 days of being snowed in and lounging in my fabulous new bathrobe, I'm a little slow to swing back to the real world, but swing I must! Btw, never had a bathrobe before, if it were socially acceptable to were it exclusively, I would.

Today I will:

Try like hell to keep MOUTH SHUT before any negative opinions or unsolicited advice starts pouring out of it, Think Before I Speak.

Not let my gay work husband get under my skin with his own unchecked ego.

Smile as often as I can muster.

Remain still, quiet and re-discover the joy I had with my job when I started it.

Be grateful for a reliable 4 wheel drive dream car, my dog, who I lied to last night and told I would walk this morning, have patience with my lunatic kitten, speak kindly to my love and call my momma.

Today I will organize my "book of To-Do Lists", check a few off, but not obsess over the future.

Today I will try like heaven to stay in the Present as though it were a gift.

Today I will eat healthy food and today I will not drink booze...

and so it is!

Starting Over, Again

I'm new to this whole Blog thing, this is day one... 9 inches of snow in K.C. is making me stir crazy! As the New Year approaches, I have an overwhelming need for inspiration, change and above all personal growth! I figure, this blog is step one in facing some demons and finding Gratitude.

I am Grateful for the following, in no particular order:

-Leo, my Yellow Lab, as he snores at the foot of the bed.
-George, my grumpy kitten.
-My Momma
-My fiancee
-To have a good job, with good benefits
-Thunderstorms
-Road Trips
-Dreams
-A line to the Divine

X-Mas is finally over, back to work tomorrow... Looking forward to the New Year.... I'd like to really feel a sense of accomplishment in every day this year, and to never waste another day hungover on my couch.

Here Goes!

P.S. My landlord has been snow-blowing the sidewalks in the neighborhood non-stop since Thurs. He's a nut!